There has been three days between my $289.70 payment and today. When I scheduled this payment my interest for all combined loans was around $15.00. Today I looked at it to see if this payment had gone through and the interest instead was $36.00. I had to get on Income Based Repayment and I can’t tell if I am better off or worse than I was. But considering the amount I can pay a month $200 ish, is less than what I would rack up in interest in a month, I am probably going to ultimately do worse.
Paying interest on a loan is like going to the pound and adopting a dog. Taking that dog for a walk after you’ve glued one hundred dollar bills to every inch of his fur. Walking him to the middle of no where. Then unhooking his lead and ushering him off into the horizon, never to be seen again.
Right now I make more than I will be next month when I will be officially salary at my job. My salary? 250 a month, plus 250 rent credit. So ultimately $0 will be paid on my principle balance a month and all my monthly salary will go into my interest.
It is almost like I start to build a bridge from one sand island to another. Then two steps on to the bridge a big wave comes crashing by and knocks my bridge and the sand from my island away. Each time there is less and less sand. I feel like I am going to drown here. Like there is no escape. There is just me and an endless expanse of emptiness. Just me and then a million granules of sand that added up to nothing at all.